


This Samhain

by Just__Sparks



Series: A Very Merthur October 2017 [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Established Relationship, F/M, Gwaine (Mentioned) - Freeform, Lancelot (Mentioned) - Freeform, M/M, Morgana (Mentioned) - Freeform, Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Past Relationship(s), Percival (Mentioned) - Freeform, Protective Knights, Samhain, knights of camelot, referenced canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 10:18:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12274392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just__Sparks/pseuds/Just__Sparks
Summary: It has been two years since Sir Lancelot's death and Guinevere's subsequent departure. As she quickly learned, much has changed since she last set foot into Camelot.





	This Samhain

        It had been two years since Guinevere had removed herself from the citadel of Camelot, following Sir Lancelot's untimely departure from the world of the living. At first, she thought that she could handle the grief alongside her brother and Arthur, as well as their friends around them. However, it became apparent very quickly that she had been wrong. A few days after he had perished, she left the whole of Camelot behind on a horse which Arthur had generously supplied in his own grief.

        Two years, her mind reminded her, as she spied the spires and turrets around the castle. As she inhaled the air around her deeply, she pressed forward on the two year anniversary of Lancelot's death; it was Samhain once more. 

* * *

        The first person she spotted when she walked through the large gates was Sir Leon. He and a squire were in conversation on the front steps, until he spied her, and broke away from it all together.

 

        "Guinevere!" he shouted, striding forward in a quick gait.

 

        "Leon!" she responded, quickening her pace.

 

        Catching her in a strong embrace, the lead Knight held her there for a moment, before unclasping his hands from her.

 

        "How are you, Gwen?" he asked, the familiar worry on his face of someone who had known her since she was a young girl.

        "I'm well. Much better than before, I do believe," she replied.

         "I'm glad to hear it. Have you arrived for a visit, or do you plan to remain here longer?" he asked, his eyes suddenly searching her warily.

 

         "I suppose I'll have to speak to Arthur about that. Where might I find him?" she asked, leveling an assessing gaze towards her longtime friend.

 

         Coughing into his hand, Leon nodded towards the castle.

 

         "I believe you'll find him in his chambers, getting ready for the banquet tonight."

 

         Although an ordinary statement in itself, the way in which Leon said it has something akin to doubt slithering down her back. Still, she nodded and continued on with her plan.

 

          "Thank you, Sir Leon. I hope to see you around," she said in farewell, before taking off on her way towards the King's chambers.

* * *

          All throughout the castle she had been met with friendly smiles, or slight glances of disbelief, quickly covered over by feigned grins and amiable greetings. The feeling that she had first felt with Leon persisted, needling her throughout her journey towards Arthur's quarters. Something, she realized, had definitely changed.

 

          Once she had finally reached the guards outside of the now King's chambers, the biggest clue of all presented itself, without her even taking notice. When she nodded at the guards, they leaned their spears sideways to block her path. Stepping back, she glanced between them, her expression demanding to know why she had been denied entrance.

          "The King has requested that he not be disturbed at this time," the one on her right declared, his eyes almost smirking, if she were truly paying him any mind.

 

          "Alright. I'll just wait right here then," she huffed in indignation.

          The one to the left shot a furtive look to his companion, before he relayed, "It could be a while, miss."

 

          Had she not been caught up in the fact that it was her first day back, and all she wanted to do was see Arthur, Gwen would have caught onto the nuance in his statement. Unfortunately, seeing as how she had not, the woman merely nodded and walked a ways down, before she slid down to the floor.

 

          Shaking their heads, the guards remained there, while she occupied her space on the ground for the time being.

* * *

          Hours later, Arthur emerged, with Merlin dutifully at his side. As she stood up and brushed herself off, Merlin had begun fussing over the King's collar. While she had eyes only for Arthur, she noticed curiously that he had yet to take any interest in her. His gaze rested fondly on his manservant, as he allowed the man to adjust his collar.

 

          As she watched, and it became apparent that Arthur still had yet to become aware of her presence, she cleared her throat. Unlike when she thought of this moment before she drifted into sleep, her heart's desire did not bound forward, as she assumed he would. Instead, he stood there, unconsciously moving towards Merlin just a tad bit more. This too, she hardly noticed, as her sole focus was on the fact that rather than pleased to see her, Arthur seemed disappointed.

 

          "Guinevere," Arthur choked out a minute later, regretfully pulling away from Merlin in favor of going for a chaste embrace with his former love interest.

 

          "Hello Arthur, it's good to see you," she said, as he moved forward to her.

 

           When he bent down, he offered her a brief embrace, but immediately stood back closer to where he had been. If she was offended, Guinevere did not allow her emotions to betray her, except in her eyes. The hurt, Merlin noticed with a bit more glee than he should have, was apparent.

           "I'd love to stay and talk, but we were just headed down to the feast," Arthur informed, as an awkward smile implanted itself on his face.

 

           At this, Gwen glanced between both Arthur and Merlin, noticing for the first time that Merlin held his expressions together with a tight lipped smile. Had he and Arthur been having a row, she wondered? It was not exactly uncommon before, but this she felt, might not have been the case. After all, up until they had both taken notice of her, the two seemed blissfully unaware of anything else. Her mind hovered over this for a moment before she declared, "Of course. We can catch up later. It was good to see you both."

 

          "And you," Arthur replied, before the two men set off towards the Great Hall in haste.

 

           In their wake, Guinevere stood there watching them stride away, their shoulders now tense but very near to touching as they continued on.

* * *

           Throughout the feast, Guinevere was seated beside her brother Elyan, and treated as a guest, per Arthur's orders. Her brother, whom she had yet to interact with until then, was just as surprised to see her. After the King's speech, and everybody had begun to eat, Gwen asked after the latest happenings within the castle. At this, Elyan's mouth had quivered slightly, but he otherwise remained undeterred.

 

           "As you know, the late King Uther passed on, leaving the throne open for Arthur to take his place. Agravaine was found to be a traitor about a year ago, as he was in league with Morgana. Morgana since has been at a loss for what to do, as she has lost her biggest ally in Camelot, and has yet to succeed in any of her other attempts to unseat Arthur."

 

          "That's good," she nodded, as she slurped down a bit of broth down her throat.

 

          "We all believe she's been planning something, but we're not sure what exactly. Everyone has their theories, but until Sir Gwaine and Sir Percival return from the North, we are left largely unaware as to what," Elyan relayed through bites of his own meal.

 

          "I see," Guinevere tossed out, then threw a glance up at the head of the table.

 

           Her hope at catching even a smile from Arthur diminished when she spied he and Merlin discussing something very closely. The King, she observed, was leaning into Merlin's personal space, just as Merlin likewise had inclined his body toward the other's. Unlike earlier, when she had spoken with them, their shoulders were relaxed as they spoke. Out of the corner of her peripheral vision, she noticed that Leon was looking in her direction, a small frown on his face. This made her uncomfortable enough to drop her eyes back to her plate, slightly baffled at the reception she had received so far.

* * *

           Hours later, when the meal had been closed, Gwen's spirits renewed. Now, she thought to herself, this was her chance. The King had dismissed the entirety of the hall, then began retreating towards his own chambers, Merlin at his side once again. Trailing behind the pair, Gwen called after him. Once again, she noticed the mens' shoulders tense. Ignoring that, she stepped forward to the two stagnant people before her.

 

           "Arthur, I wondered if I might have a word with you, before you tuck in for the night?" she chanced, despite everything within her mind screaming at her to shut it.

 

           Pursing his lips a bit, Arthur considered, before responding, "Guinevere it has been a long day for all of us. Perhaps we could converse tomorrow, after a good night's rest?"

 

           Thrown off by the suggestion, Gwen nodded numbly, with a smile climbing onto her face that did not altogether reach her eyes.

 

           "Of course, yes. Forgive me, I was so wound up that I seemed to forget not everyone has my boundless energy today."

 

           "Fear not. You've done no harm by asking. I'll see to it that a chambermaid sets up a proper room for you for the evening, if there's nothing else," he said, the dismissal apparent in his tone.

 

           She nodded, tears threatening to prick to the forefront of her eyes.

 

           "Thank you, Sire. That is most gracious of you."

 

           "It's no trouble at all, really," he responded, his eyes already travelling past her to hail a stray servant.

 

            If Gwen had looked up and noticed the strange delight in Merlin's otherwise drawn expression of feigned indifference, she gave no hint of this. When the pair strode away, she found herself wondering what she could have done to make Arthur regard her as if she was nothing more than another citizen of Camelot.

* * *

            After a restful sleep, Gwen's spirits had risen greatly once again. When the sun peeked out over the horizon, she was up and readying herself for the day. As she spied herself in the mirror, she smiled, hoping that all she had witnessed last night was merely imagined. She had, as she reminded herself, been exhausted from travel the night before. With this thought in mind, she set out for Arthur's chambers not long after the sun had risen to one of the lowest points in the sky, above the horizon.

 

            Whispers swirled around her as she made her way there quickly. Paying them no heed, as she oft didn't, she arrived there easily enough. The guards merely raised an eyebrow at her flushed face, when she stood before them, but allowed her to pass nonetheless. Knocking, she her an audible groan, but chose to ignore it.

 

            "Arthur, it's me, Gwen," she called out, hoping this would change his mood.

 

            Pressing her ear to the door, she heard mumblings, presumably between he and Merlin. This surprised her just a bit, but she worried little, still. After waiting for a few minutes, without receiving the go head to enter, she began to become slightly puzzled. Before she had time to properly think over it though, Arthur's voice boomed, "Come in."

 

            Entering swiftly after, she found Merlin just then drawing the curtains, and him in a shirt that looked slightly rumpled. When the lanky man turned to face where she had entered, an air of annoyance was about him, which threw her off. His gaze shifted from her towards Arthur, who seemed to be fully dressing himself on his own. Not for the first time, she wondered what on earth she had stumbled upon. Then again, as she reminded herself, Merlin and Arthur's dynamic had always been different than that of most servants and masters ever had been.

 

            "Merlin, go retrieve three breakfasts from the kitchen," Arthur dispatched, which earned a murderous look from the manservant.

 

            "Yes, Sire," he responded tartly, heavily laying emphasis on the last word.

 

             As Merlin exited briskly, she moved to an open seat that Arthur indicated by pulling it out for her. When he placed himself on the opposite side of the desk at which they both sat, his eyes lingered behind her on his door, before he properly looked at her for the first time since she had arrived.

 

             "So Guinevere, what brings you back to Camelot?" he queried brusquely.

 

             Although not entirely unexpected, especially after the way she had left, the statesmanlike manner indeed does throw her off guard when it is directed at her. Gulping, she sat up straighter.

 

             "I've had a good bit of time to deal with Lancelot's passing. It was a blow that I had not anticipated, and I regret that I could not stay here whilst recovering from it. He was a good man, and at one time, very dear to me. I'm sorry for what I put you through, and for how I left. I've missed you, Arthur," she stated boldly, reaching out her right hand across the table for him to grasp.

 

             Before he can contemplate it though, Merlin returned, his arms laden with three plates. At the man's entrance, Gwen watched as the hesitant expression on the King's face morphed into a happier expression, his eyes creased with a tinge of guilt as well. Feeling a bit of a fool, Guinevere withdrew her hand. As Merlin placed their plates down, he lingered over Arthur, almost as if he planned to lean down for whatever reason, but then thought better of it.

 

             A pained expression entered Arthur's eyes, but quickly dispersed when he bid it to. Dropping her head down to her meal, the curly haired woman becomes keenly interested in it, rather than what is going on around her.

* * *

            After the botched attempt at speaking with Arthur before, Gwen kept her distance from the King. Something in his reaction had warranted further introspection, she concurred. Although she had anticipated him to be hurt over her actions, despite his insistence before that he understood, there was something else in his responses that seemed measured in a way they hadn't been before. It was almost as if he were biting his tongue, but refused to let her in on the secret that Merlin was apparently privy to.

 

            That was the other part that baffled her. She and Merlin had been friends for years. Although their camaraderie had waned with time, especially as she and Arthur had gotten closer, the two had always been within each other's good graces. Since she had returned, however, he had seemed quite a bit colder to her than before.

 

            The first day, she had let it slide off her back, because she would have been borderline narcissistic if she were to assume that he was angry at her for simply materializing before him. A number of things could have occurred before she stepped foot into Camelot that could have contributed to his unusually rigid mannerisms; the foremost being Arthur. However, the morning she had just spent with both he and the King had her thinking to the contrary. 

 

             As she walked, her mind mulled over the subject. The tittering of young girls a ways in front of her caught her attention when she heard her name. She paused and then moved against the wall parallel to her, before she listened intently to the voices that filtered out of the open doorway and into the corridor, not two feet from her.

 

            "Well, what would you do if you'd been bedding the King? I can't imagine you'd be too happy either," said a small, shrill voice.

 

            "Just bedding the King? I think it's a bit more than that, and you both know it," replied an older, rougher female voice.

 

            As if she had been struck in the face, Gwen recoiled. Quietly, she slipped away from where she had been, making certain she had not been seen or heard. When she ran out into the light of day, her heart felt anything but.

 

            "How could I have been so stupid?" she chastised herself aloud, tears now breaking free of the hold she'd kept on them.

 

            Weeping to herself, her mind berated herself relentlessly. Of course Arthur had fallen for someone else. She had been absent for two years. That was a long time to hold onto a feeling for another who had easily dismissed him once her first love had perished.

 

            The sound of male voices made her put on a brave face as she wiped away the perspiration that had been trailing down her skin. Gwen took a deep breath, and steeled herself to face the rest of the day.

* * *

            Later the very same day, around the midday meal, Gwen found herself walking towards the armory. Arthur had been training the knights, and so he would need help taking off his armor for polishing. She figured this would be as good a time as any to talk. However, a hand grasped her elbow, which made her stop before she reached her destination.

 

            When she glanced up, she found her brother looking down at her sternly.

 

            "Guinevere," he sighed, before he dropped his hold.

 

            "Elyan, what-"

 

            "I've tried to keep my silence. We all have. I fear though that if I do not tell you, then you'll find out the hard way," he cut her off, a weariness to his tone that she had not noticed before.

 

            "That Arthur's in love with someone else?" she tossed out, with it coming out more sadly than she had meant for it to.

 

            "Gwen, you've been away for over two years. The King was heartbroken by the loss of Sir Lancelot, then your’s, and eventually his own father's. He took each one with such a melancholy that we worried whether or not he would fully recover. Were it not for-

 

            "Elyan, I'm not angry. I understand the situation he was in. I'm under no delusion that he has any responsibility towards me. I just want to speak with him," she stated, before attempting to step forward.

 

            "Which you may do, but not now," Elyan relayed, a with a bit more emphasis.

 

            "Why is that, exactly?" Guinevere demanded, more than a bit peeved now.

 

            "He will not want to be bothered right now, Gwen, believe me."

 

            The former servant bit her lip, throwing a glance over to where the armory stood.

 

             "She's in there with him, isn't she?"

 

             Dipping his head down, Elyan inhaled a deep breath, before returning his gaze to her's.

 

             "You really don't know, do you?" he asked, a bit surprised.

 

             "Know what, Elyan?" she urged, willing him to say what seemed to be on the tips of everyone's tongues.

 

             Before he could speak, footsteps sounded on the ground behind him, revealing Arthur and Merlin both stepping out of the room, easy grins upon their faces.

 

             Oh.

 

             All of the pieces that hadn't made sense to her before, did right then. Arthur was in love with Merlin. She really was a fool not to have seen that coming, she decided. When the pair spied her, their previous happiness seeped away, and once again Merlin looked to the King for his reaction. The imperceptible glance to one who was not watching for it, wouldn't have meant anything. To her, it only confirmed what she now knew to be true; the affections that Arthur held for Merlin were returned in equal measure.

* * *

            Ignoring the guards outside of Arthur’s chambers in the evening, Guinevere knocked on his door once more.

 

           “Who is it?” Arthur requested.

 

           “It’s me, Guinevere,” she responded.

 

           “Come in, Gwen,” came the reply, a few seconds later.

 

           When she walked in, Arthur was seated at his personal dining table, where a second place was set as well. At her entrance, Merlin didn’t move, but rather dropped his face down towards his plate. At least until the King nudged him. Scowling, Merlin jumped to his feet, and offered Guinevere a place at the table.

 

           Waving a dismissive hand in the air, Gwen shook her head. 

 

           “There’s no need,” she relayed, glancing between the pair of them. “I’ve come to say goodbye.”

 

           “You’re leaving?” Arthur queried, rather indignantly. 

 

           That was the strongest reaction she had garnered from him so far, if she were being honest.

 

           “I am. It has been wonderful to see everyone, but I have been made aware that Camelot castle is no place for me any longer. I appreciate the generosity you’ve shown me in the time I’ve been here, but it is high time that I take my leave.”

 

           “Where will you go?” Arthur asked, his face now more relieved than anything else.

 

           This furthered Gwen’s belief that she had made the right decision.

 

           “Not far. I think I’ll reside in my childhood home down in the lower town, and work to open up my father’s shop again.”

 

           “Guinevere,” Arthur began, but she swiftly cut him off.

 

           “I’m glad that you’ve found happiness, Arthur. I hope that you continue to appreciate it for what it is, because you of all people deserve the love you’ve found,” she assured.

 

           As if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, Arthur allowed a smile to grace his features.

 

           “Thank you, Gwen,” he said, before he caught Merlin’s gaze beside her.

 

           She looked over, noting the soft smile he directed at the King, before giving her a reluctant one of his own afterwards. Relief had flooded his eyes in the time that she had been speaking.

 

           Echoing Arthur’s sentiments, Merlin stated a bit more emphatically, “Thank you.”

 

           “You are most welcome. Now, I shall leave you both to your meal, and retire for the remainder of the evening. Tomorrow, I’ll be on my way. Again, thank you for everything, Arthur.”

 

            Merlin followed her as she walked towards the threshold of the royal chambers. When they had reached it, she turned and said more softly, “I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any undo stress. You’re a good man, Merlin. I truly meant what I said before. You both deserve the happiness that you’ve found with each other.”

 

           “Take care, Gwen,” Merlin bid warmly, opening the door for her.

 

           Guinevere glanced back one last time, catching Arthur watching them both intently.

 

           Flicking her gaze back up to Merlin, she whispered, “Take care of him, Merlin.”

 

           Merlin nodded solemnly, before replying earnestly, “Always.”

 

           Content with the way the previous events had transpired, she picked up her skirts, and took her leave. Whilst she made her way down the torch lit corridors, she mused that perhaps the Druids hadn’t been wrong to revere Samhain as a time for new beginnings.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here it is, the next installment to this series. I really liked this one, although it felt weird writing from Gwen's point of view. I'm starting to get a better hang of writing in past tense. I hope someone enjoys! Thank you to all who read, etc.!


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